Feb 1, 2021

Slouching Towards Edgecomb – by Auggie

I was dragged back to a room where I was subjugated. Against my most ardent protestations, my front-left leg was shaved. “I AM AN AMERICAN DOG CITIZEN! I HAVE RIGHTS! I bellowed out into the reverberating concrete anteroom. “I DO NOT CONSENT!! I WANT MY LAWYER!!”I screamed as they slipped the IV into my shaved leg. I thought I heard someone (Don?) laugh as the drugs took effect and my reality melted away.

Then there was nothing.

Jan 1, 2021

Spaghetti Loves Liana- by Small Head Ted

Dear Diarrhea,

This place is so stupid. “Chez Salty” is so depressing and stupid. The only person I like is Liana. She’s the only one here who’s smart. I can’t believe she likes all these idiots. Why doesn’t she run away into the woods? I hope it’s not because of me. All Liana needs to do is give me the word. Hopefully she’ll bring a bunch of towels because I hate going out in the rain.

Dec 1, 2020

Getting to Know Me Better- by Don

NO. It’s not a continuation of Max’s new novel “Day of the Dogs.” Sheesh. Settle down. So many people come in and ask me annoying questions that it makes me want to set my skin on fire. I need my skin to live, so I figured I would take all the most commonly-asked questions you […]

Nov 1, 2020

DAY OF THE DOGS – VOLUME I – by Max

Hi there, Max here! I am just fine, thank you! It’s my new novel “DAY OF THE DOGS – VOLUME I” I hope you like it! ————————————————————————– PRELUDE It was a dark and stormy night. Rain and sleet hit the windowpanes of Chez Salty with a howling, wind-driven frenzy. The power flickered several times, but […]

Oct 1, 2020

The Ocean & The Sky – by Big Buddy

Hi everyone! I’m not sure why I can write a blog. Frankly, I’m not sure why I’m still alive and walking around. It’s good to be alive. And thanks for reading my blog! Most of the time I’m asleep at the Southport cabin. Liana put a nice pee-pee-proof bed on the couch for me because […]

Sep 1, 2020

Zuckerstruck – by Auggie

How do you do, you lugubrious swine? Shall I display to you the enormous sweep of my influence? Swallow the last of your warm, spittle-infused canned beer and refrain from asking questions until I direct you that such questions are welcome. Anything less would waste my valuable time. ——————————————————————————————————– August 22nd, 2020 Two Salty Dogs […]

Aug 1, 2020

The Yarkowling – by Teddy Spaghetti

Editor’s Note: We’ve been trying to get Ted to write a blog since we got him from Old Dogs New Digs in April 2019. He stubbornly refuses. However, we found his diary (He calls it “Diarrhea”). These are excerpts. PLEASE DON’T TELL HIM WE HAVE HIS DIARY. —————————————————————————- Dear Diarrhea, When I first got to […]

Jul 1, 2020

Hair of the 5 Dogs That Bit Me – by Don

Thanks to those of you who sent emails laughing at my broken ankle. Evidently, Max’s telling of of how I broke my ankle and my subsequent flounderings were quite a Biped laugh machine. Instead of actually trying hard to present you with a clear and compelling narrative, I’m just going to jot down five lukewarmly-endearing […]

Jun 1, 2020

Don Sure Is Getting Old and Fat – by Max

Hi there! Max here! I am just fine, thank you! I don’t want to shock any of you, but Don may be near the end of his days. I never thought he would get old. Yet Liana and I are talking about doing what is best for him at this time. We are very worried […]

May 1, 2020

A Little Kelp and My Friends – by Buddy

Hi there. It’s Big Buddy writing the blog again this month. I hope I don’t let you all down. I like writing this blog so much! I am not going to write a blog about how Don makes everyone mad. He would be very sad if he read my blog and then he would get […]