Aug 26, 2012
I am Auggie and this is my first write-up. I had been trying to avoid doing this shellackery for as long as I could. But I could not allow Fatso’s (Editor’s Note– Max’s) last recrimination of me to stand. I have NOT bitten anyone. Maybe when I was a 3-month old pup, but certainly not after then. I have bitten FATSO plenty of times, but only as a defensive maneuver, and absolutely not intended to harm him. But if he continues down this libelous path he will be harmed. This I swear to you on my honor and The Dark Collar of Cerberus presented upon me this fortnight amid frightening portents and omens (Editor’s Note– He’s talking about the “Boothbay Harbor, Maine” collar with the happy crabs and smiling lobster he got for his first birthday on Thursday after cake, singing of “Happy Birthday,” and fireworks later in the evening).
Enough of Fatso. Let us speak of things more relevant and important.
Cole joined our family just before Memorial Day weekend. He had a family who loved him very deeply, but could no longer take care of him in the way he deserved. So he joined our pack and I am delighted to report that he respects my authority to the fullest (Editors Note– Authority? Nope).
But that got me thinking…..what happens to dogs with no pack? It turns out that there’s something called “The Lincoln County Animal Shelter” (LCAS) and they give homes to animals without any. But at LCAS there is no Liana to give the animals snuggies every night. And they don’t even have some tyrant like Don to get Fatso out of my food bowl or stop chewing my beloved Pink Piggy. There are just people-less animals without snuggies, or homes. Tyrants are a dime a dozen. A good snuggler is a rare thing.
The Lincoln County Animal Shelter busts their collective butts to help these pets and find them good homes.
Whether in the water or field or lawn, everyone loves to chase after a tennis ball. And one day after digging one out of the sand at Hendricks Beach, it hit me— Every tennis ball I’ve ever chased has been one of Deb’s used ones (Editors Note– Deb is Liana’s fantastic tennis-playing mom). So I had the brilliant idea of asking Deb and her friends to take all their old tennis balls and sell them for $1 to help the LCAS! (Editors Note– He barked at Deb for about a minute and then went to go fight over a stick with Tater.) Yes! That was me! Little Auggie! I can’t believe how smart I am!
Can you please come down to the shop and buy a $1 tennis ball? Maybe you can buy a Chuck-It to go With-It (Snort—bwahahaha! I’m awesome!) Or maybe you play tennis and can donate your used balls! But please keep the tennis balls on the feet of your walker. They don’t float and Cole is driven crazy with that (Editor’s Note– Auggie doesn’t realize that’s offensive).
Sometimes I get my fill of Cole and I wish it was just me and Max. But when everyone’s safely in the house and all the lights are out, Cole will stretch up against me and give a satisfied exhale. Sometimes he will twitch and I hear muffled yelps that tell me he is dreaming of swimming after a tennis ball. Someone had to throw that tennis ball for him. He dreams of his pack, snuggies, and yes…even his tyrant.