The BIG One — by Max

Feb 1, 2015

Hi There! I’m Max. I’m just fine, thank you!

I finally got time at the computer because Don is out bringing in the rest of the wood pile before the BIG STORM tomorrow buries it all until next June. He wasn’t happy about having to do it either, that salty old cuss! It’s good for him though. Like when I get my ears cleaned. I HATE that! But afterwards, my ears are less itchy and they stink less which directly results in more head rubs!

Anyway, we had our “BIG PARTY” like we do every January at Chez Salty. Everyone came over with their old Christmas Trees and made a bonfire in the back yard. They light up like small bombs! There was also sledding for the kiddies (Coal and Buddy like to run after the kids on their sleds), a Karaoke machine with a disco ball, and a million-skillion dogs came over! Check out this time-lapse movie our friend Jen made! My favorite part of the movie is Ginger the Wiener Dog on the couch at 0:30. Ginger comes to our house every year for this party with Olive the Wiener Dog and Brodie the Non-Wiener Person. Auggie and Ginger race around the house and have soooo much fun! Yes! Auggie has fun! Can you can believe it?!? I think he’s got a crush on Ginger. But don’t tell him that. He’ll get embarrassed.

Even Don relaxes from his usual tyrannical state and lets all the dogs on the upstairs couch to watch TV. Brodie brings Jeffrey his pet eggplant and we watch Mall Cops and football all day. And I get to snuggle under the covers like a real person! In fact, Don is so relaxed he only yells when Ginger and Auggie or the other kids start racing around all over the couch and barking like a bunch of knuckleheads. Why does Brodie have a pet eggplant named Jeffrey? Nobody knows.

But the best part of the whole party is all the FOOD that falls on the floor! Such things like I’ve never tasted! Delicate curries, hearty mac & cheese, and spicy chili with crumbs of cornbread. There’s also a fair amount of late-night table surfing for the more adventurous dog. And every year I look forward to a whole new group of people who will give me a little treat if I put on my “Oh So Hungry Eyes.” That’s when I stand a safe distance from someone eating food (so as not to get yelled at by Don for begging), and turn on my pathetically sad eyes. When the eating person notices me sitting there being a good boy, I perk up and cock my head in that lovable “Let’s be Friends” way. Works every time. The other dogs will try my method, but they just end up crowding the guest and drooling all over their shoes until Don yells at them.

The “BIG STORM” tomorrow is supposed to drop about 2 feet of snow and have 45mph winds. Absolute heaven! It’s like Christmas Eve! I can’t even WAIT! I’m so excited! So if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go prepare my toy octopus for tomorrow’s revelry (See 4:10 in the movie!).

It’s no eggplant, but it’s all mine.

Take Care!

-Max