Feb 1, 2023

WHY BIPEDS CRY – by MARZ

Hi everyone!!!! I’m Marz!! This is my third blog!!! I’ve got some pretty exciting news!!! Have you ever heard about snow?!?! It’s super fun!!! It’s white and it’s cold and it’s THE BEST to run around and fetch in!!!!! Let me tell you all about it!!!!! The other day I woke up and it was […]

Continue Reading

Jan 1, 2023

Dog Treatment In This Gimcrack Town – by Auggie

Editor’s Note: The opinions, descriptions, ratings, characterizations, insults, malapropisms, and vituperations are the sole province of Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury- a dog. Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters cannot take responsibility for this atrocity. I’ve been held captive in this pathetic appendix of a town for longer than I care to admit. I am described as […]

Continue Reading

Dec 1, 2022

Fudgie Questions – by Don

Marz is the first dog we’ve had that we are seriously worried about jumping off a balcony after a tennis ball. Or jumping over the shop fence and meeting a fast-moving dump truck. Or hopping the fence and going on a merry little adventure forever. He’s also pretty impervious to criticism. Unless you scream it […]

Continue Reading

Nov 1, 2022

A WEE NY TEST — by Don

After reading this delightful Manhattan Socialite’s hilarious send up of Maine, I got to thinking mayhap a Mainer should respond in kind to the waves and waves of sophisticated and culturally aware New Yorkers inundating our fair shores every summer. That’s when I got to work creating “The Test.” It is a free, simple, quick, […]

Continue Reading

Oct 1, 2022

Very Old and Fetching – by Marz

Hi! I’m Marz! I’m the new dog at Chez Salty! Sometimes they call me “Fudgie!” Don calls me “The Red Menace!!” I’m one-year old!!! I’m so frickin’ old now! Sorry! I didn’t mean to swear!! But youth is certainly frickin’ fleeting!! I can’t even fit in my old Safe Space anymore! Don used to get […]

Continue Reading

Sep 1, 2022

PSHAW!!! – by Auggie

We live in evil times. You slothful whelps out there hardly know meaning, suffering nor sacrifice from your own butt. You think everything is but little trinkets for your amusement and wonderment. Have you forgotten all the rabid raccoons, skunks, and porcupines we older generation hath fought for your basic freedoms? And what thanks do […]

Continue Reading

Aug 1, 2022

Half-Jaw Spaghetti – by Teddy

[Editor’s Note: We’ve been trying to get Ted to write a blog since we got him in April 2019. He stubbornly refuses. However, we found his diary. He calls his Diary his “Diarrhea.”] Dear Diarrhea, I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. There’s been a lot going on here and I’m not sure […]

Continue Reading

Jul 1, 2022

Weird Eatin’s – by Don

Quiet everyone! The blog is starting! THE BLOG IS STARTING!!!! If you own a dog, you’ve most likely seen them eat just awful, weird, and unexplainable things. I once saw an article about a dog that ate packs of cigarettes. Open or unopened. Then she would vomit them all over the house. When her owners […]

Continue Reading

Jun 1, 2022

A Brave New Mars – by Marz

HI! I’m Marz! I’m the new dog at Chez Salty! It’s confusing because they call me Fudgie! Or Fudgebutt! Or Fudgebot! Or KNOCKITOFF!! I don’t really pay them a lot of attention! I’ve been at Chez Salty since I was a pup! That was a long time ago! I didn’t even know how to swim […]

Continue Reading

May 1, 2022

Goodbye Max – by Don

Maximus Gary Kingsbury was born in Bangor Maine- Friday, May 16, 2008. We had to put him down on Saturday, March 12, 2022 just before noon. He was dying of kidney failure. He was almost 15 years old. He was in more pain than we could bear.

Continue Reading