Boothbay Harbor Early Bird Sale 2017!
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 18th, 2017
We always have such a good time at Early Bird. Yes, we have to do a lot of frickin preparation. Yes, we need to get up early. Yes the dogs are confused and waking up so early messes up their poop schedules big time. But I can't name another time when it's OK to wear your pajamas to work and seeing so many happy people and dogs around town. And WHAM! Before you know it, the shop is closed, the dogs have all pooped and it's time for a cocktail.
But what is Early Bird anyway? How did it start? Where will it end?
The Story of the First Early Bird
Back when Boothbay Harbor was run by Methodist Pirates, a pirate named Lenny "The Whale" McGee attempted to strangle a Minke whale named Brad "The Pirate" McGee with his bare hands to impress his future estranged wife, Harriet "Frumpy" Prewitt, as this was the style of the times. Frumpy" only ever wore pajamas as a protest against the Boothbay mayor at the time "Hatless Moe Simpson" converting to the Unitarian Church.
Harriet was substantially impressed with Lenny's attempted strangulation of the "The Pirate." Unfortunately, Brad was only unconscious and not dead because of a pre-existing flipper condition and he severely maimed "The Whale" with a swift, brutish swipe of his tail. "Frumpy" screamed with rage for seven days and five nights until she screamed herself into a coma. Everyone in Boothbay Harbor was ashamed that their brutish mating rituals were responsible for such a horrible situation. The shopkeepers in the town vowed to open Early with giant discounts to honor the.... um.... well... I've written myself into a corner. And I'm not going to try to write myself out. Is anyone still reading this?
Seriously. You're just going to have to trust me. It's a fun time. Just come and join us.
It's when almost all the stores in Boothbay Harbor open up stupidly early and offer gigantic deals on their merchandise. Shops give out free coffee and muffins, and a lot of them offer Door Prizes. Two Salty Dogs is giving away a $100 Gift Certificate as a door prize. That's ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS worth of stuff to buy back your pets' love for that time you treated them badly. $100 is a whole lot of pet love. Get something for yourself, too. No. We insist.
So if you're going to be in the area, why not drop by and have some fun for a change? You deserve it. No, really. You do. And don't forget the earlier you come in, the bigger discounts you get! And don't think about it as just US having a sale. THE WHOLE TOWN IS HAVING A SALE! On everything but pet food that is. We can't do anything about pet food. We make nothing on pet food.
If you can't come and see us in person for Early Bird, why not join us online? We call it Salty Bird! We can't have the bed races or the costume contests, but we CAN give you the super duper-deals! So for all you people out there in Cyberville who can use the inter-webs and a credit card, you're in luck! You simply put all the items you want in our Shopping Cart. Then where it says "Coupon Code" enter the proper code for the time. The click "Apply Coupon" apply the savings! It's that easy!
And what if you can't join us for this joyous event? Why not join us online? We call it Salty Bird. We can't have the bed races or the costume contests, but we CAN give you the super duper-deals! So for all you people out there in Cyberville who can use the inter-webs and a credit card, you're in luck! You simply put all the items you want in our Shopping Cart. Then where it says "Coupon Code" enter the proper code for the time. Then click "Apply Coupon" to apply the savings! It's that easy! And don't try to enter an earlier code. You will blow up.
And you can simply check "In-Store Pick Up" to avoid nasty shipping charges if you're a Methodist and/or a pirate living in the region. on for your shipping and use the shop's address for the shipping info, and we'll send you an email when your order is ready! It's that easy! And remember, all orders go through Don, so use the comments at checkout to your advantage!
Heck, we'll even enter you into a drawing for a $100 Gift Certificate to our web store when you Salty Bird with us. Yes. I just made that a verb. Please don't be afraid.
And as always, FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $75!!!!!
If you'd like to know more about Boothbay Harbor Early Bird 2015 than my feeble accounts can give you, CLICK HERE
PS, We're trying to get something going on Periscope. It's a live streaming thingy from twitter! No promises, though!