Dots1-inch Ribbon Dog Collar

If you like dots-- lots and lots of dots-- this dog collar is for you. Sure, you could buy a collar with fewer dots. But later, in the dead of night, the lack of dots around your dog's neck will torment you. You will perspire freely and be unable to sleep. Friends will mock you. You will be so unnerved that you will miss that big promotion at work and become a sickly hollow shell of the proud person you once were. Unfortunately, in the twilight of your years, you will end up living in a refrigerator box at the busiest intersection of your hometown. There is no escape from fate. So for goodness-sake, please buy the dog collar with the most dots and live, Live, LIVE!!!!!