Apr 1, 2020
Salutations, depraved quislings. Be seated. That is an order. When I heard we were going to “The Vets” the other day, I thought I would spend the day at a local VFW, drinking cheap beer with the heroes of our nation. Nothing could have been further from the truth. No doubt you have heard about […]
Continue ReadingNov 1, 2019
Good Day, Malingerers. This is a long one. Don’t start it if you cannot finish it. I was given no warning. Don brought me to the truck and bade me inside. I thought we were going to the local park for Walkies and mayhap a treat for afters. As there were none of the other […]
Continue ReadingJul 1, 2019
J’Accuse – “I accuse.” A bitter denunciation. I should start by saying that my last blog was a resounding triumph in Canine Literature. Normally, my blogs are hungrily received and widely acclaimed by the top critics of the land. I have heard tell that my last blog caused several prominent critics to completely explode in a flash of […]
Continue ReadingMar 1, 2019
Good Day, you drunken gadabouts. I am often unfairly criticized for being too harsh. However, in the interests of ceasing your incessant e-prattle, I am now going to answer questions submitted by you – the confused and chunky canine hordes of America. I do this without anger and in the genuine hopes of helping my fellow canines. […]
Continue ReadingNov 1, 2018
Salutations, quislings. It is I, your Supreme Canine Commander in Chief – Augustus. I am ready to mesmerize you with my unique and compelling takes on Boothbay Harbor Dog Life. And I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for picking up most of your trash in the Harbor this summer and disposing of […]
Continue ReadingJul 1, 2018
Salutations, Lackeys. Your rewards are forthcoming and wondrous. Every year the Bipeds “do” this thing called the Mutt Scrub. The cutesy name is designed to elicit heartwarming images of faithful canines being lovingly washed by ever-adoring owners. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The Mutt Scrub (Or as I call it, “The Mongel Scour”) […]
Continue ReadingMar 1, 2018
(Editors Note: Auggie must use the word “Rutabaga” in this blog or forfeit a snack). ————————————– I am Augustus and every fibre of my canine being loathes you for the hairless ape you are. It’s not your fault. But you should try harder in future. Like spelling fiber, fibre. Make a note of it, and […]
Continue ReadingNov 1, 2017
Attention worshippers……. It is I, your favorite Salty Dog, Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury. Thanks for all the virtual kisses. They have meant quite a lot to me throughout the latest ordeal I shall now have to tell you with complete honesty and verve. I should start by re-stating how much I loathe Canine Prison (Editors […]
Continue ReadingJul 1, 2017
I stand before you Augustus, the only dog worthy of your worship in this world. My intentions are neutral towards you. Where we go from here is up to you and your actions. I know all you reprobates are expecting Big Dumb Buddy’s blog this month. I had to pre-empt his impaired little ditty to […]
Continue ReadingMay 1, 2017
Salutations, loyal henchmen. It is I, Augustus Megatron Bulldozer. Please save your raucous celebrations until after my blog. It is befitting that May’s blog should fall to me. In the past I have given all you thronging tourist rabble helpful public service announcements on such topics as: How to Blend Into Boothbay Without Looking Like a […]
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